All I know about schizophrenia from my own experience

Introduction

Schizophrenia is a mental illness that involves hallucinations and delusions. Delusions can be beliefs that no one else shares. So, for example, I believed I live through World War III and that nuclear bombs had been thrown. Hallucinations are perceptions that only the patient has. The most common one is hearing voices that no one else can hear. Some patients also see things. I heard voices continuously since 2008. For years, I heard a male voice, in the latter years, I heard male and female voices. They can be nasty or nice. I also saw things. Hearing voices is the most common symptom of schizophrenia.

I have thought long and hard what these voices could be. To me, they can be only four things, maybe one of them, maybe a mixture of all of them:

1) Telepathy among living beings. I often think I hear the thoughts of other people. It feels like telepathy. But when I ask them, they usually (but not always) say that they did not think this or that just now. I also hear animals (birds especially) talk to me.
2) Spirit communication. Several spiritual writings indicate that spirits communicate via telepathy. I personally have at least three experiences of talking to spirits. My first psychosis started with a channeling experience. Some voice from above instructed me in 2002 about world events (first an attack on America, then the Middle East, then Russia, then the church would be built or found in India or Asia). Much later, I spoke to angels once. They communicated telepathically with me. I did not see them. But instinctively I was sure I spoke to angels. They had very high authority and were very benign. They asked: ‘Make a choice’. I said: ‘I want to work for peace.’ They answered: ‘Good choice’. That was all. Again, years later, I heard a voice from above again. It asked me what I want to say to the world. I said: ‘I want to say: Don’t kill and be nice to each other. But don’t do everything I do or say, I am not perfect. And don’t make me your messenger, I don’t want that responsibility’.
3) The security state. I have been shown patents that the technology exists to control and change people’s minds from far away. I doubt that this explains schizophrenia, but it might occur in some instances. I myself might possibly have been a victim of this, as a political scientist. But I don’t know.
4) My own thoughts turning loud. What speaks for this is that I hear most voices speak German to me (I am originally German). What speaks against this is that I cannot influence most of the time what the voices say. Not with thinking of something else, not with meditation, etc.

Overall, the most likely guess is that the voices are spirit communication or maybe even more a combination of all of the above options.

I am convinced I had contacts to the spirit world. I had a channeling experience once with an out of body experience, in which future world history was revealed to me by a voice from above: first an attack on America, then the Middle East, then Russia, then the church would be built in India – or Asia, I don’t remember that clearly. That was in 2002. Later, I talked to angels once. I said: ‘I want to work for peace’. And I had another God experience (maybe it was only an archangel or whatnot), in which I was asked what I want to say to the world. I said: ‘Don’t kill and be nice to each other. But don’t do everything I do or say’.

I believe, my voices are to a large part spirit communication and telepathy. I hear them even when I walk in nature or travel. But it is also possible that I am what they call a ‘targeted individual’ that is controlled by the state. I don’t know that. The technology exists, I have been shown the patents. But I hear them sometimes loud in the sky, so I guess that’s not possible. The skies talking to me (they don’t always say the truth, to be honest! They told me my ex-lover is dead, but thankfully he is not.) cannot be the security state. Why I believe it is NOT the state is that I hear these voices in the sky even, and when I walk around, even when I swim or sit on a plane. They can be really loud. Like loudspeakers that broadcast noise in the sky, especially when I don’t take my medication. I am always surprised why others don’t seem to be disturbed. They don’t seem to hear them, and they say they don’t. I also heard psychiatrists talking about me while I walked in a park. I heard them in the sky. They said: ‘This is sensational’ and debated about me. Then they indeed and in the real world invited me to many conferences (all not made up, honest). I hear my mum often. She is very sad that I don’t give her grandchildren. And that’s factual too. And I hear sometimes the thoughts of my beloved partner, and sometimes, when he is in a good mood and it were nice thoughts, he admits to it. I also seem to hear when other political scientists are interested in my work. I even seem to understand animals. Especially birds seem to talk to me. In Germany, when I visited recently, sparrows called me a thief (I had been a thief of chocolate in childhood, all paid back now). Here, at home in England, the pigeons ask me for forgiveness and mercy. I hear all of that in German. Rarely, the voices talk English to me. I even thought to hear my computer talk to me briefly once. And I had the perception that aliens talked to me.

How to make the Spirit Voices of Schizophrenia nice

For most people, and for me for many years, the voices are nasty, angry, harsh, insulting even. But they can be very nice, loving and kind too.

What I observed was that the nicer I become, the nicer and more helpful my voices become. When I shout at people, or when I start to drink or to hate, they are nasty. When I am calm and spiritual and nice, they become kind and helpful. I have become vegetarian out of spiritual conviction and a spiritual seeker. After I prayed for some years regularly and for one week nonstop, the voices said in chorus: We love you! (I don’t think the CIA would do that). And they have become generally much more helpful. But it does not seem to work all the time. I am still testing it out. But the trajectory is in that direction sometimes.

Conclusion: The nicer and the more spiritual and loving I become, the nicer my voices become.

What helps Living with Schizophrenia?

I experimented with all sorts of alternative and mainstream therapies for more than a decade. This is my best treatment regime:

1) Medications help a lot. Some medications have nasty side effects. It is important to find the right medication. I take an antipsychotic and an antidepressant.
2) Vitamin therapy I tried for more than a decade. Vitamin therapy has been invented by Abram Hoffer and he claimed he cured many patients. It allowed me to work for 12 years as an academic on an extremely low level of medication (but with voices). I still take Niacin (at least 1g a day) for mood and nerves, and Vitamin C (1 g a day or 2g) against cancer and the common cold. One can also add Omega 3 (3 g a day) as brainfood. I believe I feel better when I take vitamins, even if they did not cure me of the voices even after more than a decade.
3) A healthy vegetarian or even vegan diet. Such diets are more ethical and recommended in most spiritual traditions. They are also healthier than the standard diet and can prolong life for about 10 years. Because patients with schizophrenia have a life expectancy of 10 to 20 years reduced, such lifestyle is important. It might undo the years of life lost.
4) No drugs and little stimulants and no alcohol, if possible. I never used drugs with schizophrenia, but I know this makes it worse from accounts from others. Alcohol interacts with many medications and can bring about hellish hallucinations. Even coffee can bring about paranoia and voice hearing when consumed in excess. Most patients with schizophrenia smoke. It is believed to be due to selfmedicating. It is best to switch to nicotine gum or e-cigarettes, which are far safer than cigarettes.
5) Calm, cheerful music helps me a lot. I listen to Classic FM, Radio BBC 3 or meditation videos on YouTube all the time. Music can chase away voices and makes me feel better. It is an incredibly powerful and cheap tool that is accessible to nearly everyone. 6) Spirituality, prayer, and love are very important to me. Since I became more loving with a conscious effort, my life has become much better generally, and my voices have become much nicer. I feel less lonely and much happier. I also pray every day. I pray for love for myself and for others. This really works to combat loneliness and evil voices.

Preventing Suicide in Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a severe mental illness. The life expectancy in schizophrenia is reduced 10 to 20 years. Part of the reason is that schizophrenia goes along with a higher risk of suicide.

Here is a Number of Tips what can be done to Prevent Suicides

1) Compliance with medication and antidepressants can be life savers. Medication should be taken at the lowest level needed and up to the point where the highest level of wellbeing is achieved.

2) Isolation seems to me to be the highest risk factor for suicide. The great sociologist Durkheim claimed the same. All my suicide attempts happened in complete isolation and single life. Isolation can be countered by the patient with a conscious attempt at making friends by being extra kind to people. Family relationships are also helpful.
3) Stable, loving relationships are important. The trick to finding stable, loving relationships in my experience and opinion is to be loyal and an overall good person (honest, kind, compromising, helpful etc.).
4) Having a dream in life, a good dream that is useful to others, helps too. Even if it needs to be adapted throughout one’s lifetime. Doing good is a way towards happiness – old people who can look back on good deeds are happier, research says – and having a dream gives the motivation to get up again after a setback.
5) Faith also helps. I was once saved from suicide simply by my faith.
6) Suicide happens also in political and economic crises. I am not sure what to do about this yet. If such occurs, a talking therapist or a telephone hotline can also be lifesavers. Churches and other charities too. Sometimes, it is simply good to talk and listen.
7) If romantic relationships are the cause of depression, here is one tip: Choose someone from those that seek out you. That makes life better. And if you still stay single, pursue other goals. The greatest minds in history were single all their lives (Kant, Newton).

On Finding Love and a Career with Schizophrenia

Many patients with schizophrenia stay single all their lives, never marry (more schizophrenic women are married than men), and most live on benefits and don’t work. But this need not be the case. Here are some tips:

1) Love comes not from being only beautiful, slim and fashionable, but from being a good person with a good heart. A good character is far more attractive than a nice body. Work on this and you will be attractive.
2) You can pray for love. I found my partner of eight years after I prayed for love. I pray for even more love every night.
3) Try to educate yourself to find work, if you can. There is no one holding you back. If you are educated, the chances are higher that you might find employment. Employers are not allowed to discriminate against you because of your diagnosis, only because of your abilities or lack of them.

4) Check out my book Health and Safety for Spirit Seers, Telepaths and Visionaries- Self-help for Schizophrenia and Schizophrenia explained by a schizophrenic scientist for even more tips.
Let me conclude with saying that is a great honor and pleasure to write here. The readers can reach me anytime under annacorneliabeyer76@gmail.com or through my website www. corneliabeyer.net.